The future can be scary, mostly because we don’t know what it has in store for us. The future is unpredictable. No matter how hard we try to plan for our futures, there will be obstacles and challenges that we will not see coming, but have to face. Whether we’re able to surmount those obstacles or, sometimes unfortunately, fall short of success, it is how we handle the outcome that defines our character.
Based on my own personal experience, I didn’t even think I had a future. I spent my days sulking deep in the misery that filled my thoughts.
When I thought of my “future,” I thought of me being alone for the rest of my life. I had big dreams when I was a kid. I wanted to be an astronaut or a firefighter or a police officer or, well lets face it, a superhero. As reality started to sink in, I began to believe that none of those ambitions were possible. That I was going to be a failure in everything I did.
Well, I was wrong. Those ambitions were and still are possible! I hit a few bumps along the way during my childhood, a lot of it revolved around bullying and loss of self identity, but as I got help and still proceeded with my schooling, I was able to find my passion. I want to pursue a career that will help suffering adolescents. I want to be able to dedicate my life to improving the lives of those struggling with some of the darkest demons.
I want to live to see the foster care system FIXED. I want to live to see bullying put to an end and anti-bullying laws put in effect all around the world. I want to live to see the rate of suicide amongst young adults and kids decrease because the world is becoming a safer place.
Now I know these are what people may call “far-fetched” dreams, but why aim low?
I am so fearful of my future…
Less than just 2 months ago, I didn’t see a future for myself. The word ‘future’ held no meaning for me when it was spoken. I wasn’t afraid back then because I didn’t feel anything back then. I was numb. But now that I do see a future, I am scared. I’m scared of failing. I’m scared of letting others down and letting myself down. I’m scared of being hurt, of falling back to my hopeless and non-existent imagination. I’m scared and that is okay.
I know what I want to do with my life. I want to graduate from college, I want to go to graduate school and I want to simply help others. I don’t know what challenges I will face along the way and that is the uncertainty that frightens me. But God is on my side and he is looking out for me, I know that. I know that I will make it. I will live a full life. And for right now, that is all that matters.
– xoxo Grace